I made a major decision recently about focusing my business along a more nature-based spiritual path. Still offering therapy, but as part of a larger offering. This meant re-thinking my approach in a lot of ways. It also meant letting go of many projects that I had nurtured for a long while and weren’t really getting anywhere.
This, as it turned out, was a big problem. I was surprised, and don’t honestly know why, since letting go of efforts I’ve invested in has long been an issue for me. Any plans I make, in fact, are hard for me to change. It may be because I make up a story in my mind about what will change for the better, and repeatedly walk myself through the process. This makes the end result seem already real, when it isn’t at all real. In fact, reality is showing me in numerous ways how unreal the outcome actually is, or ever will be.
Still, I persist, overloading myself with the past ongoing projects, and now the new ones, until unpleasant things happen. Lately, that’s been missing deadlines, arriving late, doing unnecessary things that waste time, having to redo work that I normally wouldn’t need to.
That’s been my week.
What I’m going through is called the Sunk Cost Fallacy. I am very aware of it, and yet still find myself falling into its claws. The difference between now and the past is that I catch it a lot sooner.
You might notice yourself ending up there over things that are especially meaningful to you. It may be regarding your work, or your relationships. How often, for instance, have you hung onto a friendship long after it energetically ended?
If so, like me, you can learn to recognize it, then let it go. What it’s really about is a story, an idea, that is meaningful to you, and that reality isn’t in line with. You don’t have to give up on that desire, but reality is letting you know it’s time to take a different approach and let the old story go.
Quote of the Week
The scarcity mindset in dating often goes hand in hand with the sunk cost fallacy. The sunk cost fallacy says that it is bad to lose something we have invested time, money, energy or emotions into, regardless of whether that something is still actually doing anything for you. Humans are highly risk averse creatures, so we tend to prefer NOT losing something over potentially gaining something, even if we don't like what we would lose.
-Liz Powell
Code switching
Announcements
Hi! In November, I will be moving my weekly newsletter from the current venue to Substack.
Many of you have been reading my weekly reflections for years, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that. My hope is that this new home will make it easier for us to explore life's questions together.
Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist. newsletter, meditations and programs, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .