The Comfort of Agreement, The Courage of Disagreement

I came across 2 quotes this week that I wanted to combine. One is from David Brooks: Fighting is for fascists. Democracy is about persuasion. The other is from Emerson, and is the quote of the week below.

I heard David Brooks say the above in an interview he did with Jeffrey Goldberg. He was referring to the depressing explosion of fighting between friends and family of different political persuasions.

It didn’t used to be like this. For the majority of my life, I was able to disagree with another person without being judged or labelled. I continue to offer that courtesy to people who disagree with me, but more and more often, the favour is not returned.  

Fear and insecurity do turn people into being rigidly judgmental, even fascist, and these are insecure times. But I’m wondering how much AI is to blame.

I use AI, and what I’ve found – like everyone else using it – is that it agrees with everything I say, or ask, or suggest, then offers more. What a nice, validating,thing that is! Until I realize that the thing validating me has no feelings or values. That it, in fact, is programmed to converse like that. It’s like what I imagine it would be to experience being with a sociopathic narcissist. No feelings, but plenty of expertise in being exactly what I want them to be.

While that won’t stop me from using AI, it does highlight the value of dealing with real people who have real feelings and who don’t always agree with me.

All that is required of me is to remain open and willing to hear them out, and to be equally willing to be flexible in my approach towards them.

This is a decision that I’ve taken, in my effort to reconnect with those real people around me.

Quote of the Week

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The counterintuitive way to be more persuasive

Announcements

Hi! In November, I will be moving my weekly newsletter from the current venue to Substack. I’m moving to Substack because it has a lot more capabilities than Kit, which is what I use now. It will continue to be sent to your inbox free weekly. You’ll still receive one newsletter, simply from a different platform.

Many of you have been reading my weekly reflections for years, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that. My hope is that this new home will make it easier for us to explore life's questions together.

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programs, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co . 

If you’re interested in the topic of avoiding burnout for people who do too much, you may be interested in checking out my youtube channel.

 

 

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Change is Inevitable. Resistance is Natural.