Change is Inevitable. Resistance is Natural.
Hi! In November, I will be moving my weekly newsletter from the current venue to Substack. I’m moving to Substack because it has a lot more capabilities than Kit, which is what I use now. It will continue to be sent to your inbox free weekly.
Many of you have been reading my weekly reflections for years, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that. My hope is that this new home will make it easier for us to explore life's questions together.
Now, to my newsletter.
Fear and change. For all of us, fear and change go together. None of us like change. It’s a basic law of nature that everything moves towards inertia. But it’s also a law of nature that everything changes all the time. Maybe not a rock. But we’re not rocks.
Here are some everyday examples:
If you avoid any kind of confrontation, preferring to stew inside instead, it’s very likely because you’re afraid to confront. If you confronted instead of remained quiet, it might mean rejection, and that may not be something you want to risk.
If you do decide to change an unhealthy habit, then get a lot of totally unexpected resistance from your friends and family, someone should have warned you. Even if friends and family don’t like your old habit, they are used to it; changing it means they need to change in relation to you, and that’s a problem for them.
On the other hand, if you need to make a change in your life, are convinced of its rightness, and find yourself dragging your feet, avoiding and procrastinating, it could be that ancient fear of doing something that is unfamiliar, and therefore risky. Hence the cliché better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. Even if you’re miserable with what you now do, it’s at least known, unlike the scary unknown of something you know is better for you.
It seems inevitable that we will resist change, even if we know with certainty that it’s good for us. That’s why any habit is so hard to break.
I’ve read up on this fact, and the only way through is a change of attitude – our own attitude towards the needed change. And discipline. Commit to making the change, then making it happen, daily. One step at a time.
Regarding your friends and family, it’s good to recognize that there is nothing to change there. That’s for them. All you can do is know this and move forward. Another very helpful attitude adjustment.
Quote of the Week
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.
-Maya Anjelou
How to change your behaviour for the better
Annoncements
Hi! In November, I will be moving my weekly newsletter from the current venue to Substack. I’m moving to Substack because it has a lot more capabilities than Kit, which is what I use now. It will continue to be sent to your inbox free weekly.
Many of you have been reading my weekly reflections for years, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that. My hope is that this new home will make it easier for us to explore life's questions together.
Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist. To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programs, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co .
If you’re interested in the topic of avoiding burnout for people who do too much, you may be interested in checking out my youtube channel.