Reframing Rejection – The Quiet Strength Of Vulnerability

I’ve been thinking about the meaning of pain lately, especially emotional pain. The other day, I had asked for something, and was told that if I wanted this, I would need to do something I felt was demeaning. I felt the pain of embarrassment and rejection.

It was a relatively small thing, and yet it hurt, because of why I was asking: I was asking because I care deeply about the community I was asking on behalf of.

As children, many of us experience the pain of rejection. And as children, may interpret that rejection as not being loved. That rejection hurts even more as a result. But often, from the adult’s perspective, it wasn’t at all about rejection or love – that adult simply did not appreciate how much the child was hurt by the adult’s seeming rejection.

What I’ve since learned is that I make myself vulnerable when I care, when I love. Whether or not my reaching out is rejected is really secondary to the fact that I care.

It’s a worthwhile change in perspective.

Quote of the Week

From the beginning of time, in childhood, I thought that pain meant I was not loved. It meant I loved.

-        Louise Glück

The benefits of rejection

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Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programs, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co . 

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