Courage To Be Me

This is a story of someone dear to me who, because he decided not to allow fear of what others might think influence him, was able to shine in his chosen field. I know him personally, and have witnessed the changes he had to make for this to happen. It wasn’t easy for him.

As with so many people, he grew up in a family that was kind, but pretty authoritarian: things had to be done in a particular way or there would be punishment. He grew up fearing punishment and attending carefully to doing things as expected. As an adult, he continued this practice, so that who he was inside was never revealed to anyone but his closest friends.

The problem for him showed up when he wanted very badly to work with someone he looked up to and admired in order to achieve recognition for doing what he wanted to do in his career. The problem wasn’t gaining access to this teacher, but in gaining the mentorship he craved from her. Her main demand from him, other than his knowledge prerequisites was that he be himself and operate out of the confidence and freedom that being himself manifested. She had seen his restraint, his need to conform to others’ ideas of the right or good way of doing things, and she did not see this as a value.

In other words, she demanded something from him that had never been demanded before: that he be himself and trust, first and foremost, what he knew and how he believed he should proceed above all else – including (especially) her.

This terrified him, but his desire and passion for moving forward made him willing to try whatever it took to break open his fear and resistance, and to step into unknown territory.

It took a while, but he did eventually manage to break free. One thing he discovered was that by doing so, the work he did after that seemed effortless. It gave him a sense of accomplishment and joy he’d never experienced before.

What it takes to be ourselves is an act of high courage. And it’s worth it.

Quote of the Week

“Personality … is an act of high courage flung in the face of life.”

-Carl Jung

Finding the courage to be yourself

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Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programs, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co . 

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