When Emotions Run High, Pause First

In planning for my weekly blogs, I write down any ideas I come across, then review them for my next blog post. The following idea popped up: how powerful a momentary pause is in becoming master of our personal world.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about a relative he loves who tends to get bossy when they get anxious. Lately, this is happening a lot. We discussed strategies, and ended up focusing on the one thing we both know works, even if we end up getting anxious ourselves: the pause.

The strategy is this: allow the person to talk themselves out. While they talk, support yourself with long, slow breaths. These breaths help you stabilize: they fill your lungs with calming endorphins and engage your Vagus nerve system. The breaths also help you listen and take in what the other person is saying without prejudice (not entirely so, but it definitely helps). Once the person stops, take another long breath before speaking.

By doing this, you give yourself the gift of space so that whatever you end up saying is going to be more helpful than otherwise, for both yourself and the other person.

Quote of the Week

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

― Viktor Frankl

Slow down to go faster

Announcements

Maryanne Nicholls is a Registered Psychotherapist.  To find out more, gain access to her weekly newsletter, meditations and programs, sign up at www.thejoyofliving.co . 

If you’re interested in the topic of avoiding burnout for people who do too much, you may be interested in checking out my youtube channel.